Synastry and the Art of Understanding the Other

 

  It would not be an exaggeration to say that most people who study astrology at any level began their journey with a nascent fascination with synastry.  It begins with a crush, or a heartbreak, endlessly reading up about how one's Sun sign interacts with another's, looking for validation and further information to progress forward in a romantic pursuit, or consolation and rectification of loss.  Then one discovers that it isn't really about the Sun, but about the Venus sign.  The Venus?  What the heck n' hootenany Is Venus doing here?  So if love is Venus, what is Jupiter?... and on down the bunny hole we tumble.  

   In engaging in astrological forums, by far one of the most popular thread trends will be people posting synastry bi-wheel's and asking for advice, "is he the one?"  I'm here to state for the record, you won't find the ONE by looking at a chart.  That indefinable spark of mystical fire that is attraction is for the most part out there in the ether, in the seat of the soul beyond the chart.  I posit that the elements that might indicate attraction between two charts are more likely a clothes chosen in incarnation to entice a past life love in specific instances, rather than a tried and true rule about what will in fact attract: or whatever.  I shouldn't really speak beyond what I can see in the stars, so let's stick to the charts.  The fact of the matter is, we are attracted to what we are attracted to, and you can be damn sure no astrologer will be able to dissuade you from that fact!  

    So what's the point of synastry anyways then?  It is a profoundly telling art which can assist in navigating all the ups, downs, pitfalls, and potential joys of that special someone you can't help but be drawn to.  This article here is a handy guide for helping you suss some of the more important details out.  

    The act of synastry, comparing the natal charts of two separate people, be they lover, family, friend, or business partner, is to slap one chart on top of the other.  To see this for yourself, look no further than Astro-Seek  for all your bi-wheel glory.  It is bizarrely rare to find bi-wheels anywhere else that will show the houses of both charts simultaneously, which you will see is an incredibly important part of synastry. 

 

Are these two best friends, or best fiends, who can tell? Only their astrologer and keen cinemaphiles will know.

   Now you'll find many people slinging Composite charts, the art of finding the mid-points between every individual aspect in one chart with their counterpart in the other and casting a single mashed up chart to represent the relationship itself.  While I'm sure this practice has value for some people, I believe that there is more than enough information within the two natal charts, and everything actually happening to them in real time to dive into for robust and actionable intel, that adding an imaginary chart into the mix may be muddying the waters.  At least I've never found them in my studies to be reliably workable.  Why use an imaginary alignment in the heavens which never existed, when reality is spitting out real charts with every single action we take?  To that note; I believe the Davidson chart has much greater value.  It is a similar concept to the Composite, though instead of finding the mid-points of every planet and angle, it instead uses the actual mid-point in time and space between the births of the two people being assessed.  This does then create a real chart in a real place and time which actually happened, and describes where two people, born on desperate dates and places, can actually meet in the middle.  It is said to describe what these two people can achieve together, what the purpose of the relationship is.  As such, I do find it interesting, though rarely look to it when there is so much meat staked to the bi-wheel's bones.  Romantic imagery there, I can't help myself.  

     So where do we start?  To begin with, it is important to have a full understanding of each chart individually before assessing the bi-wheel.  What is it that is needed to fulfill each person individually?  What are their strengths?  What are their weaknesses?  What will they absolutely need to thrive in a relationship?  What needs does one have that will deaden the spirit of freedom in the other?  What skills does one have that will help the other surmount their own detriments?  These questions can only be answered by first understanding the natal chart on its own, and then looking at all the timing systems you find crucial to your practice, to see where this chart is in the moment, and how it is growing into the future.  I personally prefer to study a natal chart after running transits and progressions over it to understand where they are in this moment, and where they are headed, before truly trying to understand the chart.  It is all part of the process for myself.  Tracking transits especially helps to see how the flow of time through a chart affects the consciousness of the native.

  Once one comes to an understanding all of this, the astrologer can start to weave the two lives together.  As such; it is preferable to book a full natal chart reading for each individual first, before doing a third actual synastry reading.  The amount of work it takes to study all this with accuracy before then adding them together is not only double the work, but an exponential increase. At the time of this writing, I'm still willing to cram a synastry reading into my typical two hour consultation for the same fee, though it is not exactly ideal.  With any luck, if you reach out we might find I'm still amenable to such an arrangement.  

   The next factor to consider  are aspects.  Every astrologer has their own orbs of influence they use.  RASA taught 7 degrees between the planets and angles, and 10 degrees for any aspect involving the luminaries.  For synastry however; it becomes essential to not only use whatever orbs you are accustomed to using, but also whole sign aspects as well.  The lived experience of a Libra Mercury versus a Capricorn Mercury, two cardinal signs in a difficult square pattern, will be challenging no matter what.  Mitigated of course by the rest of the aspects, house placements, and individual condition of each Mercury, but there will always be a sense of frustration on the part of the Capricorn Mercury, wanting Libra to just get to the point and a make a decision, as the Libra Merc will be frustrated at the lack of broad-minded and fair consideration given by Cap to all sides.  It is at this point where we can also take orbs into consideration.  If we assume a 7 degree orb of influence, then a Libra Mercury at the beginning of the sign, and a Cap Mercury situated towards the end of Capricorn will have a functional trine in play as well.  The difficulties between these two will be more easily surmounted through conversation.  Speaking of which....

    Pop-Syn will typically jump straight to the sexy bits.  You know, "If Venus is the woman's Hoo-Ha, and Mars is the Man's Ding Dong, let's watch them conjunct!"  Well alright, alright, of course there is a ream of important information there, but we aren't looking to the synastry chart to find the attraction generally, assuming we already know there is some quantity of the mystical goo.  The most powerful use of synastry is to discover how to make that attraction last and work as a valid relationship far into the future.  As such; the first two things I look to in performing a synastry operation are the Moon and Mercury.  The Moon, being our habits, moods, emotions, and frankly, home and family, is of utmost importance.  If your Moons' are in a hard aspect to each other, then living together is going to be far more challenging.  So, how do we surmount those challenges?  We must talk about them to understand why there is frustration and hurt feelings, and we need our Mercurys' to meet and discuss these things in a way the other can understand.  If the Mercury's are also in a difficult aspect, sustaining that Mars Venus conjunction is going to be an uphill battle, and one not likely to last long, and hard.  

    Now we have to explicate that a fair bit, because an old folk saying has a potent bit of wisdom here, which is that, 'opposites attract'.  Boy do they ever!  The tighter the opposition, the stronger the attraction.  Just as one might imagine, an opposition is always the most challenging aspect, but also highlights a polar axis in the Zodiac where one sign completes the purpose of the other, filling in that which the other lacks along a shared Zodiacal theme, though frustrating to take at every step of the way.  This attraction will be present for the entire sign based opposition, but like every aspect, the closer to the exact degree, the more powerful it shall be.  

    Sign based aspects are important for helping one person understand the other, while exact aspects show an undeniable push or pull between the two, especially with the conjunction.  A conjunction between any two luminaries is an impossible force to ignore, feeling fated beyond compare.  How could our Sun and Moon not be meant to meet?   (Well, check out those Mercury placements, sheesh!)  If attraction, (be it romantic, or of a more creative nature) does not take hold, then the conjunction can often feel like a crowding within a sacred space.  Close conjunctions of the luminaries, between two who don't see eye to eye, can become bitter rivals trying to shove the other onward.  You know what they say, 'those two are too much alike'....  those old folk sayings... well you know... they KNEW astrology back then, it was just a way of life, and this art and science was always laced into our language.  

   The square is a more purely frustrating aspect than either the conjunction or the opposition.  It is far less attractive than either, and can feel like nothing but a burden.  However; it can also be the kind of challenge which pushes stagnation into action along the path from idea to action, and back to source again.  Nothing is accomplished in life without pushing past the challenges of the square.  

   The trine is a sign of ease.  To be of the same elemental triplicity means a harmonious and flowing rapport between the two planets.  This leads to feeling immediately at home with someone, how could you not when both your Moons are in air signs intellectualizing your own feelings and habits and wishing to express them openly?   Trines are a lovely element to have in a synastry chart, but one needs more than this to stoke the fires and sail through trying times.  Attraction breeds in the waters of conflict, the rough mixing of two disparate currents who must meet, and mate to temper the differences.  Sometimes the trine alone is too easy to sustain attraction in the long run.  Of course, to have one planet at the beginning of a sign, and another towards the end of a sign of the same element, can be a functional square within the sign based trine, highlighting the differences inherent in the modes and rulership of each sign.

   The sextile, though less powerful a connection than the trine, can be more attractive.  The way two members of the same sect can goad and feed each other tends to be more constructive than the trine itself.  That old Air fans the Flame, and the Earth needs Water to grow trope.  These two elemental pairs work exceedingly well together, but have enough differences to goad each other on to greater heights of function.  The Earth alone is too dry to hold its shape, the Water alone has no form, the Air blows to nowhere for no one, and the Fire will exhaust it's own fuel and burn out.

   But what of like planets which are averse to each other?  Look to mitigating planets aspecting both of them between the charts to find solutions to connecting them.  This is of course more than an academic exercise.  One must understand how every planet expresses in every sign, and what it needs to be able to inform the other person of the needs to be met.  For instance, a Libra Moon, or any fall sign Moon for that matter, has a deep need for the socialization of habits.  It is a tragedy for a fall Moon to not eat a meal with others.  A Taurus Moon however, averse to the Libra Moon, could care less who else is eating, when they are hungry, nothing can stop the bull from plowing down the meal.  It is important then for the astrologer to be able to point out to the Taurus Moon how deeply important for the emotional security of the Libra Moon it is to be able to have that shared meal time.  Perhaps the Libra Moon has a Capricorn Venus trining the Taurus Moon, and can use some practical, but ambitiously alluring techniques to entice the Taurus to eat at the proper time.  Try a favourite meal, and a well placed fan to blow the scent on the winds of Libra to the bull's lair.
   Likewise, if we look to Mercury, it is important for the Leo Mercury to be heard, and feel important in what is said, which the opposing Aquarius Mercury should be made to understand, so long as Leo Mercury knows that it better have its facts in order before boring the Water Bearing Quicksilver King.  If Leo ever stops to take a breath, it will either have to pause and hear the facts, or face the Aquarian back side walking away.  These are crucial insights to moving forward in whatever form of partnership you have with any other human being.  

   And what of the other planets?  Well the Sun as always is of course of crucial importance to the creative heart of what one needs in life to feel fulfilled.  How does one chart support the other's Solar purpose?  How to accomplish this will relate back to understanding the entirety of each other's charts in the first place.  Any conjunction to any angle is a powerful drawing factor, though Sun on the Ascendant-Descendant axis really takes the cake.  I've found that people whose ascendant points to another's Sun often see in the other person a radiant example of who they would like to be.  The ascendant often can describe how we perceive ourselves, not exactly as we are, (that job falls to the ruler of the ascendant!).  The Sun shows the true heart of the person, and being with one who's Sun is where our ascendant is can be a profound inspiration, so long as we do not descend into jealousy instead.  
    Conjunctions to the Midheaven are of course great for career and creative pursuits, though if the marriage itself is the greatest purpose in one's life, a partner's Sun upon the midheaven can be a fantastic portend.  Being found upon the IC can be a sign of lighting up one's home and family, while upon the descendant, the house of partnership, is practically self-explanatory.  Any planet upon the descendant implies its energy, good or ill, will be most easily felt and assimilated.  As always, be wary of Mars on the descendant, it will portend quarreling to be certain.  

   Ah Mars, to understand another's Mars will be to understand another's desire for action, as well as conflict.  Whatever it touches will tend to imply open challenges within that domain.  Look to the hard aspects from Mars to the planets and angles of the other's chart.  Mars to the Sun, my creative spirit will be a challenge, Mars to Mercury, my words will inspire arguments, Mars to the Moon, my emotions and habits will be prone to conflict, Mars to Venus, well, perhaps these conflicts can be settled in the boudoir!  Mars Trines and sextiles can imply that the Martial energy will be put to good use in motivating, and working towards the goals of the aspected planet.

   Saturn, the great inhibitor.  Hard aspects from Saturn will show where we bind each other.  It also shows how we structure our lives, and relate to responsibility.  Hard aspects between two Saturn's are a generational issue, but can portend great difficulties in structuring a shared life, the planning on a day to day level, as well as long term, is out of sync.  It is not to be ignored.  Hard aspects from Saturn to any other planet will show Saturn's energy binding and slowing down the actions of that planet, which can sometimes be beneficial when affecting the negative habits and tendencies of a given planetary sphere.  The easy aspects can show how this Saturn can help to structure a better framework for the planet to operate within.
   Of course, we get grace from Jupiter, but it is also wisdom and understanding.  Look to the condition of each other's Jupiter to gain a better perspective on how they assimilate what life has handed them into their morality and higher minded perspectives.  This may not seem all that valuable in the beginning of any given relationship, but looking forward into the future, the condition of Jupiter becomes more and more important in structuring a meaningful life that can adapt to the changing winds of time.  Jupiter being in a hard aspect with itself in another's chart may show vastly different reactions to the same event.  
   Venus, oh Venus, bright brilliant planet of beauty and relationships.  If one wants to attract, one must understand the other's Venus.  Lead in with the planet which has the closest, most positive aspect to the desired Venus, or the opposition if you have the guts for a real wild passionate ride!  It's your synastry, I won't tell you how to spin it.  

   We have barely even touched upon the houses yet.  Remember how I pointed you to Astro-Seek? Well it's about now you might want to consider why it's so important to see both house layouts at once.  You can start by looking at which house each planet falls into in the other's chart, for there this planet will have the greatest impact.  This is important to know for both parties.  If one's Jupiter falls within the other's 10th house, how can you assist with their career?  And do you really want your Venus to fall within the eleventh house of their friend zone, rather than the fifth house of romance?  (Venus in the 11th is actually lovely, never mind me!)  The house a planet falls into will also affect how that planet is able to operate in expression with that person.  In general, manifesting the domain of any given planet will be more difficult in the "dark" houses, (12, 8, 6, and 2.  Those averse to the ascendant). 

     This is where synastry begins to truly expand into a multidimensional, fractal art house of chaotic wonderment.  For every planet which you were assessing based on its natural associations as a layer of consciousness to every other planet in the other's chart, must also now be assessed for what it means as a house ruler, and where does this house ruler fall within the other's chart.  How will the lord of your tenth house of career and status do being bound within the partner's sixth house of illness?  Better hope you are a jockey and she owns a fabulous horse breeding business!  (phew!)  It must express itself in some way, so knowing that a planet must operate within that other person's house can allow us to make choices that will manifest the more desirable significations of that given house.  (Side note:  some texts state that animals larger than a dog belong in the twelfth house, not the sixth like lap pets.  I can assure you from the amount of obsessed horse person charts I've seen with loaded sixth houses that this is not the case!)

    Now: for further information look at the house rulership meanings of the other's chart.  If Jupiter rules her fifth house of romance and children, what does your lord of the twelfth house Jupiter have to say about that?  There will be an element of the condition and meaning of your Jupiter with how she will relate to it based on what it rules in her own chart.  This is complicated.  But it gets worse.  How do the houses themselves overlap?
   As you know, I'm a horribly out of fashion, tragically middle-aged man,  who still uses Placidus houses, but this will work with whole sign, or whatever other system you use.  Any transit to one house, will be a transit to a different house in the other person's chart.  So the flow of time rears its head.  Two very common arrangements I see in synastry between couples which last, are the conjunction and opposition of the ascendants.  If not exact, then at least within the same (or opposing) signs.  If the ascendants are conjunct, the flavouring of each house by sign shall be the same.  Though the condition of the ruling planets, and where they are within the houses can alter this significantly, there is a very noticeable similarity within how each person relates to the various facets of life which the houses describe.  This is obviously very useful in going about any sort of partnership, especially marriage where you meld all facets of life together under one roof.  The conjunction also means that via the transits, both luck, and hardship will be coming to each house at roughly the same time.  This can lead to a profound sympathy and compassion between two people.            Possibly even more helpful in navigating transits however; is to have the houses opposed.  This sets up within each house, that zodiacal axis, where one has within that domain of life, the complimentary perspective the other lacks and craves.  Furthermore; with the long term transits through the the houses, they are happening in opposed places.  In other words, to a certain extent, when one is down, the other is up.  There is a function of balance between the two over the long term.  
    Speaking of the long term, remember I mentioned Progressions earlier?  This is a whole other layer for dissecting how two people may interact.  Say you have one person born in 1977 with the Sun at 10 degrees of Pisces, and another born in 2007 with their Sun at 10 Sagittarius.  Though they are born with an exact natal square, and that conflict will always be inherent between them, via secondary progressions, by the time the second person is born, their progressed Sun's form a perfect trine, which will more or less hold throughout life.  This is a means by which a greater harmony can be found within different people's life progressions at different ages.  The movement of the Moon, with its faster, some-what eccentric orbit making multiple trips through the chart in a full life, will apply and separate in their progressed synastry aspects over time, while Mercury and Venus may speed up or slow down within their retrograde cycles, the Progressed Solar aspects will hold true for their entire lives.    

   Really, the deepest part of the practical art of synastry is its ability to help one understand how another processes reality.  To truly dig into how another sees the world, what it is they need to feel secure and fulfilled, and then use that to understand how it conflicts with your own goals, missions, and suffering.  If one can step into the shoes of another, a greatly undervalued function which astrology absolutely excels at, one can begin to understand why they do the things which annoy and hurt you, and begin to express these challenges in an open way which can be understood by the other without further hurt feelings and anger.  Synastry offers a path forward to a deeper understanding, which is the start of a path of greater peace both inside our homes, and blossoming out into the rest of the world.  Isn't that what the world needs now the most?  Read a chart today, and help the humans heal!